Category Archives: Other Mishaps
UZBEKISTAN: “Can I Please Go Through Your Trash?”
I sat at the kitchen table one morning, drinking coffee with home-made almond milk that made it a little gritty. Eyes resting in a non-focused stare, letting thoughts meander through my head. Suddenly, a sharp loudspeaker voice cut through the air. It was a male, monotone voice, coming from the street. It was slowly approaching. …
UZBEKISTAN: You Gotta Be Pushy a.k.a. The Uzbek Style Queue
It started when we boarded the Uzbekistan Airways flight. It seemed that the announcement informing all passengers that the bus was ready to take us to the airplane, came with a simultaneous electric shock in everyone’s seat. About 100 people got up en masse and promptly created a large cluster by the stairs leading down …
UZBEKISTAN: Let There Be No Oxygen, a.k.a. the Russian Workout
“Raise your step today”, said my Russian gym teacher and pointed to the stepper we used at the beginning of each leg class. I hesitantly turned my stepper over and slowly pried away the grey risers. My gym teacher lost her patience, marched over and quickly attached them to a position that was even higher …
“She Could Have Died in the Elevator”
My plans for this past April 2nd Thursday were simple. I would get to the hospital on time, my blood work would be at 10 AM as scheduled, followed by an 11 AM MRI and a noon follow up with my oncologist. I should have known things would once again conspire against me, when the …
Revenge for the Animals
Have you ever wondered why Michael Vick got away with a light prison sentence and even got a new multi-million dollar football contract after admitting to torturing and killing hundreds of dogs? Have you ever cried watching a baby elephant poke around his dead mother who was murdered for her tusks? Have you ever been …
Welcome to NYC – Oh, and the Bathroom is Downstairs
The Acela Express to New York City was delayed. Our line of mostly business clad bodies snaked from the seating area to the gate that was mercilessly closed. As soon as the announcement concluded, the incredulous looks on all the faces morphed into an angry grimace. They whipped out various high-end cell phones and, swiveling …
The Story of a Monster U.T.I. and How Nobody Cared
I lay in bed and felt it. I snapped my eyes open. It can’t be! I just peed not even 15 minutes ago! Reluctantly, I threw the blanket aside and felt my way to the bathroom, careful not to step on my dog. Five minutes later, I was under the covers again, this time wide …
Everybody Stare at my Crotch a.k.a. the Hernia Surgery
For the seventh time in the last two years, I balanced on one foot in the surgery center changing room. I pulled on the sticky socks and attempted to tie the non-matching strings of the hospital gown. This time though, I wasn’t allowed to keep on my underwear. I was getting ready for a right …
Afraid To Fall Asleep
Sleep is a hated necessity for me. A dreaded occasion. A chore. A nightmare. Every night, I embark on a twisted ride like Charon on the river Styx. I glide in my kayak on the black water of the nightmare world. The water is thick like oil and sticks to my paddle and skin like …
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