Category Archives: Breast Cancer
Model for a Day Part III – SHOW TIME!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF: RACHEL YINGLING MICHAEL GARLINGTON Rachel and Michael, we miss you so much and …
“I Love You, Cherri!”
Cherri was an angel that was sent to me in a form of a nurse from – since I don’t believe in God – some awesome place where atheists hang out after they die. She was a tall, willowy nurse with blondish hair tied in a low pony tail and a perpetual smile on her …
Now I Know What It’s Like Being Stabbed a.k.a. the Zoladex Shot
It is a cold DC morning and I emerge from the subway, hands stuck deep in my coat pockets and my wool hat pulled down over my ears. This is the second time I am going to my new oncologist’s office to get my monthly ovarian suppression shot. Supposedly, it will keep my aggressive cancer …
The Mirage of Normalcy
I checked my email and clicked on the attachment – a questionnaire that included my medical history from the past five years. My eyes skimmed the page and halted at the box that had “Any kind of cancer” written next to it. I felt a mix of emotions wash over me, with anger and sadness …
My Split Personality after Cancer
I sat in my Russian language class and the teacher corrected my classmate: “No, pak (*pronounced rahk) means cancer.” She nodded in self approval. “Yeah, it means cancer.” At that moment my carefully maintained composure for the day collapsed in pieces like if someone pulled out the wrong jenga block. Cancer didn’t mean the harmless …
Model for a Day: Part II
Six months ago, I participated in a fashion show fundraiser video campaign and wrote about my experiences here. Well, the time arrived and the video is out! We are looking for donations and contributions so we can make this project happen. All models and the producer are cancer survivors or currently in treatment. Any amount of …
The Great Cancer Escape a.k.a.Two Weeks of Being my Old Self
For over two years now, my world revolved around cancer. Eye cancer, breast cancer, re-occurrence, treatments and the fall-out of those. When one counselor asked me what I did for fun, at first I couldn’t think of anything and then I found myself stuttering something about cooking and taking walks with my dog. Even I …
PTSD Is Not Just For Soldiers
I stepped on the outside staircase landing, leash in the right hand, my dog pushing past my legs, tail wagging. But instead of going down the four flights of stairs, I stood rooted to the cement floor. My heart was pounding against my chest and I felt like my torso was being squeezed by an …
“It’s a Good Thing You Have a Feeling There” a.k.a. The Nipple Reconstruction
“It’s a good thing you have a feeling there!” exclaimed my plastic surgeon as she plunged her scalpel into my breast. I was reclined in a chair in her office and she was starting my nipple reconstruction surgery. Ever since the mastectomy, which involved removing my nipples and all the breast tissue, I had little …
Compartmentalizing for Sanity
Having two cancers makes you really good at compartmentalizing. Your brain transforms itself into one of those old timey apothecaries, filled with hundreds of tiny drawers and bottles with stoppers. Each drawer holds a different fear, anxiety or feeling, excitement, happiness, wonder or thrill. You go there every day, stay all day long, and slap …
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