Category Archives: Eye Cancer
Model for a Day Part III – SHOW TIME!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF: RACHEL YINGLING MICHAEL GARLINGTON Rachel and Michael, we miss you so much and …
“She Could Have Died in the Elevator”
My plans for this past April 2nd Thursday were simple. I would get to the hospital on time, my blood work would be at 10 AM as scheduled, followed by an 11 AM MRI and a noon follow up with my oncologist. I should have known things would once again conspire against me, when the …
The Mirage of Normalcy
I checked my email and clicked on the attachment – a questionnaire that included my medical history from the past five years. My eyes skimmed the page and halted at the box that had “Any kind of cancer” written next to it. I felt a mix of emotions wash over me, with anger and sadness …
My Split Personality after Cancer
I sat in my Russian language class and the teacher corrected my classmate: “No, pak (*pronounced rahk) means cancer.” She nodded in self approval. “Yeah, it means cancer.” At that moment my carefully maintained composure for the day collapsed in pieces like if someone pulled out the wrong jenga block. Cancer didn’t mean the harmless …
Model for a Day: Part II
Six months ago, I participated in a fashion show fundraiser video campaign and wrote about my experiences here. Well, the time arrived and the video is out! We are looking for donations and contributions so we can make this project happen. All models and the producer are cancer survivors or currently in treatment. Any amount of …
The Great Cancer Escape a.k.a.Two Weeks of Being my Old Self
For over two years now, my world revolved around cancer. Eye cancer, breast cancer, re-occurrence, treatments and the fall-out of those. When one counselor asked me what I did for fun, at first I couldn’t think of anything and then I found myself stuttering something about cooking and taking walks with my dog. Even I …
PTSD Is Not Just For Soldiers
I stepped on the outside staircase landing, leash in the right hand, my dog pushing past my legs, tail wagging. But instead of going down the four flights of stairs, I stood rooted to the cement floor. My heart was pounding against my chest and I felt like my torso was being squeezed by an …
Eye Cancer Check-Up: Take Two
My alarm clock rang at 4:30 AM, pulling me out of a pill induced sleep. It was still dark outside and the narcotic was pushing my eyelids closed. I flung the covers off me, knowing my carefully scheduled morning routine didn’t allow for any snoozing. It was the day of my eye cancer check up …
Compartmentalizing for Sanity
Having two cancers makes you really good at compartmentalizing. Your brain transforms itself into one of those old timey apothecaries, filled with hundreds of tiny drawers and bottles with stoppers. Each drawer holds a different fear, anxiety or feeling, excitement, happiness, wonder or thrill. You go there every day, stay all day long, and slap …
Life After Cancer Treatment
“So are you cancer free now?” My hair stylist asked me a couple of days ago. She was trying to conjure up something normal out of my three inch orphan Annie curls that started taking the shape of Jagr’s mullet. I watched her in the mirror and replied: “I guess…I mean, for now, I guess …
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