Tag Archives: panic attack
Now I Know What It’s Like Being Stabbed a.k.a. the Zoladex Shot
It is a cold DC morning and I emerge from the subway, hands stuck deep in my coat pockets and my wool hat pulled down over my ears. This is the second time I am going to my new oncologist’s office to get my monthly ovarian suppression shot. Supposedly, it will keep my aggressive cancer …
Lady In Waiting
That’s me minus the queen and the court. I wait. I wait to go to the doctor’s appointments. I wait for the results of scans and tests. I wait for phone calls giving me good news or shattering my life. I wait to fall asleep through my anxiety. I wait to eat because my stomach …
Trans-Vaginal What?
My oncologist called me, or rather sent the news via my chemo nurse, to let me know that I needed to go get a pelvic ultrasound because of an inconclusive PET scan. This was on late Friday afternoon, so I spent the whole weekend thinking I have uterine cancer, alternating between crying uncontrollably and feeling …
Can You Guess the Artist and Song?
I decided to create a poem using only the lyrics from various songs. This is about my experience with eye cancer, breast cancer, people telling me what to do and how to do it, my husband being deployed during all this, and dealing with the possibility of more health problems. I will post under the …
Meet My Therapist: My Dog
The seventeen months between July 2012 and December 2013 wore me out to the point that I almost lost my mind and ended it all. While my husband supported me as much as he could when he was home, it was during the long hours when he was gone that the anxious thoughts and panic …
PET Scan a.k.a. Pure Emotional Torture
About two weeks before my PET scan, I found myself sitting on the floor, in the corner of the living room, my arms hugging my drawn up knees, tears streaking down my face. I didn’t want to go get a scan and get bad news. Again. I didn’t want to die. I lay awake at …
Creepy Crawley Panic Attacks
They come at the most unexpected times. They slide in like an unwanted note under the door, like a tide coming in too soon, like a swarm of bees on a mission. They make my heart beat faster and faster. They fill my stomach with their poison so I don’t eat. They close up my …
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