Author Archive: storytotellya
Dance Party in the MRI Machine
“Everybody dance now…give me the music” C&C Music Factory screamed in the headphones that the MRI tech put over my ears. I lay on a hard narrow table with a wedge under my knees, about to enter the scan tunnel. “…come on let’s sweat, baby…let the music take control…let the rhythm move you…sweat…sweat”. The music …
Last Chemo: The Anti-Climactic Victory
My last chemotherapy was on December 5th, 2013. The evil Taxotere, the vile Carboplatin and the wicked Herceptin. I dreamt about it for weeks, for months. It was going to be a glorious day marking the end of my torture but instead I sort of felt like a kamikaze fighter – going into the battle, …
The Cancer Fight Myth
When I think of a fight, I think of the battles in the Middle Ages with swinging swords and horse riders, metal armor and long marches into unknown territory, face to face combat. I think of the Matrix like bullet dodging and wall scaling. I think of cage fighting, boxing, wrestling. I think of car …
PET Scan a.k.a. Pure Emotional Torture
About two weeks before my PET scan, I found myself sitting on the floor, in the corner of the living room, my arms hugging my drawn up knees, tears streaking down my face. I didn’t want to go get a scan and get bad news. Again. I didn’t want to die. I lay awake at …
The 5-Hour Brain Tumor
“So, have you noticed anything different about your eye?” My breast cancer oncologist asked, peering at my left eye with interest. The same eye that had cancer not even a year ago. It was around noon on a Tuesday, two days before my last chemo was scheduled. “No, why?” I asked perplexed and then rushed …
Creepy Crawley Panic Attacks
They come at the most unexpected times. They slide in like an unwanted note under the door, like a tide coming in too soon, like a swarm of bees on a mission. They make my heart beat faster and faster. They fill my stomach with their poison so I don’t eat. They close up my …
Side Effects: Somebody Must Want You Up There
“Somebody must really want you up there.” Said my cab driver as he looked upwards and rolled his eyes towards the sky. I tried to smile politely meeting his eyes for a microsecond in the rearview mirror. I was on the way home from the hospital, just having received a white blood cell forming booster …
Terminator Eye: The Day After
I woke up on Saturday, July 7, the day after my eye cancer tumor removal surgery and my first thought was: The Eye. Can I still see from it? I tried to open it a little bit and felt sharp pain slice through. I also felt another wave of nausea. I sat up in the …
Ready. Set. Eye Cancer Surgery!
Having my eye cancer tumor removal surgery performed in a place called “The Eye and Ear Infirmary” conjured up images of the Middle Ages, iron tools, doctors in wigs and screams of pain coming from the hospital rooms. Instead, my husband dropped me off in front of a modern building in Manhattan. On the way …
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