Tag Archives: Cancer
Treasure in the Murky Pond?
I strolled with my dog on a winding sidewalk that lead around a pond. It was warm and windy thanks to the distant hurricane. Suddenly, as I walked by one of the trees, its little branch smacked me on top of my head. I could almost hear it say: “Stop stressing out! Stop thinking about …
At Grandma’s, Time Stood Still
As I recovered from each chemo, I often wondered what it would be like if my Grandma was still alive. I imagined myself staying at her house or, rather, a one bedroom apartment in the city. A fifth floor walk up, I used to run up the stairs, sometimes taking two at a time. Breathless, …
A Model for a Day
The girls wear tight blue jeans and black tank tops. Their feet take careful steps on their four inch heeled shoes. The one and only guy swaggers in. We each have our own make up artist as we perch on the bar stools. Our front is covered with a black plastic bib and we look …
Please Don’t Touch My Feet or Butt
I’ve had at least ten massages in my life. I’d like to think that I can distinguish a good massage from a bad one. However, I have never had such a peculiar massage like the one performed in one of the massage chains, let’s just call it M.E. I arrived 15 minutes early (as requested) …
The Father’s Day Bitter Pill
I forgot, It’s Father’s Day. I turn on Facebook and nearly everyone’s profile picture is changed to a faded or even a black and white photo of themselves with their father. All of them smiling, in an embrace, holding hands, gazing at each other lovingly, mid pose in a wedding dance, on a boat holding …
Beastly Anniversary
Last night, a strange feeling enveloped me. It stuck to me like a spider web; it clung to me like a wet shirt. It weighed me down like a diving bell. It constricted my breathing as if an anaconda wrapped itself around my torso. It changed my thoughts to black and white. It played out …
“I Would Rather Have AIDS than Leukemia”
I creep quietly in the cancer support group room because I am almost 15 minutes late. This is a new set of people for me. A fourth different group so far. I have been trying to find one that would actually live up to its name. I sit down in the last empty chair and …
Another Bump on the Road or, Rather, in the Groin
I came back from a work related road trip, tired and hungry. I slung my bags on the living room floor. I fished out the speeding ticket that a solemn highway patrol officer with a matter of fact approach issued to me at the beginning of my drive back, right after I was stuck in …
Hey, God: Fuck Your Plan
I saw a phrase recently that said something like God won’t give you what you can’t carry. To me it is just another one of the platitudes that religious people use to make themselves or someone else feel better about their shitty lives. After what has happened to me in the past couple years (and …
“You Have Giraffe Eyelashes”
I hate the smell of acacia in the morning. Or it may be a different tree, different flower. But its smell causes pangs in my stomach because it blooms in late May and early June and reminds me of when I was a kid and used to walk to school terrified of the final exams. …
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